Get all 11 Superintendent Idle Tiger releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Troubled Makers, 1-offs, The Human Heart Is Not All There, A Minor Writer, Sweeping Tendrils, Karl Marx Swimwear Line, Liverman, The Case for Planning your own Funeral, and 3 more.
1. |
Laughter In The Sheepdip
04:00
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Like the sheep, the sheep my sweet
Your heart is in a heap.
There's a beast, a beast among the sheep.
He eats them for his tea.
As grey as sleet, as sleet their fleece,
Your sheep are in a heap.
The sheep, the sheep all dance with glee
And dip themselves in tea.
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2. |
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There were three old shepherds -
Malcolm, Joe and Trevor.
They had a field in Yorkshire
and they had surveillance cameras on their sheep.
Mak was just a sheep thief -
He nicked a sheep on Friday.
He took it to his family
and said "we'll have a party with this sheep".
He downloaded some music -
he never paid a penny.
And he had a right good party,
with his wife, some wine, some music and the sheep.
Malcolm, Joe and Trevor,
when they saw the footage,
came up to his cottage
saying "where's that sheep that you tucked in your Adidas bag?"
Mak said "there's no sheeps here".
The sheep was in a high-chair,
Dressed up like a baby.
"Well what's that there?" "Well that's my new-born son."
The shepherd said "look sunshine,
you must think we're braindead."
And they brayed him in the garden
And they bounced him on a blanket. That was fun.
Then the angel phoned them
saying "There's a new-born saviour.
He was born inside a manger.
Come over here and cop a load of this."
They brought the new-born baby
tennis balls and chocolates,
and said "Alright kid, how's it going?"
Then the baby bleated like a lamb.
When the baby bleated,
all the sheep were singing
'Hark the Herald Angel Sing'
and "You'll come waltzing Matilda with me."
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3. |
Kitchen Sink
02:28
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The loaf in the bread-bin is one slice less,
there's a filthy fingerprint in the butter.
My ornamental cutlery is in some distress.
I think that we have had a visitor.
There's a stranger standing at the kitchen sink
but the kitchen sink does not look realistic.
Perhaps he's wanting company, perhaps he wants a drink.
Do you think that I should offer him a biscuit?
What do you think? Do you reckon I can risk it?
Tap him on the shoulder and offer him a biscuit?
He said "I've heard about your troubles on the BBC.
My name is Alfed the Great but you ain't seen me, alright?"
Well I don't know, is he a fraud, is he a fake,
are his motives altogether altruistic?
He pulled down the blind and he set fire to the cake
and he sat down there and ate up all the biscuits.
He's still sitting there with his finger in the oats,
so completely idiotic he's beyond all reproach.
He said "I've heard about your troubles from watching ITV.
My name is Alfred the Great, but you ain't seen me, alright?"
Horses for courses, dress for the occasion,
it's a lovely afternoon to resume your dissertation.
There's some news about a rich man buying out the TV station
and a light entertainer has been done for tax evasion.
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4. |
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Why come ye not to court?
Why come ye not to court?
I cannot come to court 'cos I'm being fitted for a winter coat.
Why come ye not to court?
Why come ye not to court?
The court is like a ship of fools, that syphilitic cardinal.
Why come ye not to court?
Why come ye not to court?
I'd sooner exchange pleasantries with the local peasantry.
Why come ye not to court?
Why come ye not to court?
'Cos I upset the cardinal, but it was nothing personal.
We're in the court of the big boy Henry where the courtiers are naughtier
He is a rude boy Tudor, he is crude, his crew are cruder.
They mince about and prance as if they hadn't got no sense.
The boy-women are loitering, the fat men roister-doistering.
See the big fat beasts eating a feast, butchering a sweaty pig covered in grease,
And a couple of girls with their clothes hanging off - this will come to be known as "love".
Helter Skelton, Helter Skelton, Helter Skelton belting out abuse
His tongue's so loose, his tongue's so loose, hey Skelton Laureate, tell us the news.
The witless shit with enormous debts, his guts are in his forehead and he's got bad breath.
The Rector of Diss with his poems like piss, he's an 'orrible orator, he looks like a fish.
Helter Skelton, Helter Skelton, he was top of the pops until the wheels came off.
He's got no fan club, he's got no hair, no-one likes him, he don't care.
When he gets to the bottom he goes back to the top of the slide
And stops and he turns and he goes for a ride, when he gets to the bottom he will see you again.
He was known for being rowdy at all the wrong parties with the worst of the Tudor literati.
Friends say it's fine, friends says it's good, everyone says it's just like Robin Hood.
Helter Skelton, Helter Skelton, he's not top of the pops, he'd better pull up his socks.
He's got no fan club, got no hair, no-one likes him, he don't care.
Helter Skelton, Helter Skelton, selling out his brother, done for telephone abuse,
Mind your Ps and Qs, keep your head out that noose, hey Skelton Laureate, tell us the news.
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